Many of us women have a desire, an idea or things in our life that we want to do. But there is ONE huge fear stopping us in our tracks.
The fear of being judged! We tend to be afraid of what other people might think or that they won't understand us.
This fear came up for me recently. I sat in the discomfort, and when I looked closer it was an inner child wound of being accepted. I’ve always wanted people to like me, I’ve always tried my best to not rock the boat or upset others. I wanted to always fit in and be a part of the "cool" kids group. But these people pleasing tendencies only led to me to a life built on the approval of others, and not truly knowing myself or my desires.
Many of us seek outside validation, approval and acceptance because we are not giving this to ourselves. Our outer reality is a reflection of our inner world.
To heal this acceptance wound we need to go within. Getting the outside validation might feel good but if you don’t love and accept yourself you will never be at peace, you will always be striving to get that fix or hit from other people. In order to own your truth and power you get to radically love and accept yourself.
4 Steps to Overcome the Fear of Judgment
1. Sit with yourself and feel whatever is coming up for you. Feel it in your body. Now write down what is coming up. Is a past wound? Is it negative self-talk?
For example, my inner child has always wanted to be loved, accepted and validated by others.
Journal prompt - How can I love, accept and validate myself this week?
2. Now, ask yourself “Am I ok with the fact that people might judge me or that people might not understand me”. Really feel into this until you feel comfortable with the fact that others might judge you and not understand you. Embrace and love yourself, be your own biggest cheerleader!
3. Breath, and allow your emotions to come up fully. Let them run through you. and release the emotions. Many of us are quick to stop emotions or numb them but we need to surrender and release them. Otherwise we stay stuck in negative thought + behavior patterns.
4. Do something fun for yourself! Get yourself flowers, go on a walk, cook, do whatever your little heart desires. I like to finish up this type of work with a dance to my favorite song, to shift my energy and get pumped up.
If you want to dive deeper into this type of work, my course Let Your Light Shine is now available! It's a self-discovery journey that uses your Astrology chart. Join us babe!
The Rebel Soul Mama
The 3 main signs that can tell you a lot about yourself are:
The Sun Sign - The Self
The Ascendent - The Mask
The Moon Sign - Your Inner Child
I've comprised a short description + signs for each. If you are interested in learning more check out your full Astrology chart or join my course Let Your Light Shine!
The Self - Sun Sign
Living Positively | The self, self-image & willpower
Living Negatively | Ego, vanity + selfishness
Your Sun sign is your ego and where your focus flows in this lifetime. It's said to be the driving force in your chart. This particular sign and house tells you a lot about what you came here to do.
It also tells you where you are meant to shine!
The Mask - Rising or Ascendent Sign
Living Positively | Realizing there is more layers to your personality than just your outward personality.
Living Negatively | Over identifying as your persona or outward appearance.
The ascendent is known as the mask we wear, think about it, we all have some sort of social identity that we project, especially when meeting people for the first time.
The Inner Child - Moon Sign
Living Positively | Feeling, nurturing + instincts
Living Negatively | Neediness, moodiness + timidity
The moon sign is all about your inner nature and it tells you what you need. The moon can also tell you about your home, how you grew up, how things were with your mother, about what feeds your soul, your feelings, your unconscious, and your instincts.
One of the most significant ah-ha moments for me was when I dove into my Astrology chart. It uncovered repressed & hidden parts of myself, as well as strengths & gifts I possess. It was like I was finally getting validation for why I am the way that I am. My stars within accompanied by my own free will + a few nudges from the divine has now led me down a path to help other womxn find their LIGHT!
If you find yourself in a similar situation that I was in, then you are not here by chance, sister!
I am eager to share with you my NEW course!
Let Your Light Shine ⭐️
A self-guided course that fuses Astrology + Self-Discovery to awaken YOUR LIGHT within.
If you are ready to make the shift & shine your light bright, you need to get your booty in this course!
✨You'll learn to tap into hidden energy that flows through you
✨Use your intuition as your guide
✨Shatter old patterns
✨Speak your own light language
✨Unveil your shadows
✨Awaken the light within you
The course comes with:
The journey begins 9•28•20
You get to live the life of your dreams, & I know your Astrology chart can help uncover gems that you've been searching for.
If your SOUL is saying YES, then join today! It's time to Let Your Light Shine! ✨
Let's do this babe!
The Rebel Soul Mama
Most people know about their Sun Sign it's what you read about in horoscopes or what you most identify yourself as if you are into Astrology.
BUT did you know your Moon Sign is known as your True Self or your inner world. It's connected to your intuition, childhood and unconscious. Ready to find out your Moon Sign?
Mama Moon lets us know how to take care of ourselves on the deepest inner level.
Knowing your Moon Sign can help you tap into your intuition by:
🌕 Inner Needs ~ Each Moon Sign has different needs that must be met in order for them to have emotional balance. When our inner world is in harmony we are better able to tune into our true desires + intuition.
🌕 What Soothes Us ~ When we understand what soothes us on an internal level we can take steps to ensure our day to day life is more calm + centered. Rather than being reactive or explosive to our external world we are able to intuitively respond as things come our way.
🌕 Knowing Our Roots ~ Connecting to our inner child + healing from our childhood wounds drastically helps us tap into our intuition more effortlessly.
Interested in learning more? My course Let Your Light Shine dives deeper into your moon sign + intuition. ✨
Let the Moon illuminate your inner world!
The Rebel Soul Mama
Conscious Parenting is ALL about connection over control. When I first had my son I had this undeniable feeling that he was his own special being. That it was not my job to mold him into the person that I want him to become but rather it was my job to create an environment where he felt comfortable being the truest expression of himself.
I personally grew up in alcoholic home and over the past few years I've learned a lot about generational trauma and pain cycles. After giving birth to Carter I really focused a lot of my attention on healing and breaking my own trauma cycle. Conscious parenting is away for me to look at my own emotions before just subconsciously responding to my child and most of the time I am able to consciously connect to what he needs.
There are 7 Key Principles to Conscious Parenting
1) Parenting is a Relationship
Children are their own unique people who can teach parents. Many of us learn very quickly that our children make us realize and gain new knowledge. They are more curious, present, imaginative and playful, which tends to push us to embrace this lost part of ourselves. I have so much fun playing super heroes or going to the moon with my son. Life is meant to be enjoyed and our children give us a huge lesson in learning to have some freaking FUN!
2) Let Go of The Ego
Parents release their own desires, wishes, and attachments to who their child is or isn't. Sorry but your child is NOT your redo to becoming the cheerleader, football player, lawyer, Doctor etc. that you yourself did not become. Guess what? They have their own interests, talents, purpose and desires. It's our job to help them on their life path not to push them into who we want or think they should become.
3) Focus on Yourself
Instead of forcing behaviors on the child, parents should focus on their own language, expectations and self-regulation. For example, I noticed I was using Don't and No a lot with my toddler, so guess what? He started mirroring back to me this behavior. I instead started asking him or communicating to him what I actually wanted him to do. He's a toddler so sometimes this still takes A LOT of patience or redirecting but this was such a good life lesson for me. Also, our children will do what we do, NOT what we tell them to do. So you can't eat like crap and ask your child to make healthy food decisions. You can't constantly critique yourself and body mama and expect your daughter to love hers. They are listening and watching us. We must model the behaviors that we desire them to inhabit in life.
4) Positive Reinforcement
Rather than reacting to issues with consequences, parents should establish boundaries ahead of time and use positive reinforcement. Has yelling or time out actually worked for you? Yeah didn't think so, I have found this usually flames the fire, especially with my toddler. They need to know their boundaries and get positive praise or a reward.
5) Look at the Process
When momentary problems arise (e.g., a temper tantrum), it's important to look at the process. What led up to this event and what does it mean in the overall view? For example, when my toddler is in tantrum mode I need to take a look at; is he hungry, did he nap, is he trying to communicate and can't? Many of us might subconsciously react with frustration, anger or agitation and this doesn't help your child it only confuses and makes them react even more.
6) Children Need to Learn Through Struggle
Parenting is not just about making a child happy. Children can grow and develop through struggles. A parent's ego and needs should not prevent the child from their growth! We are all so quick to help, fix or get involved in our children's challenges because we want our children to succeed (and we want to look good, don't lie). Instead we need to allow them to try and figure out the solution themselves. Even with my toddler I have him try a few times before I step in and help him a little.
Accepting our children requires being present and engaging in whatever situations present themselves. We can not plan or predict who our child will be. The power of parenting is in the present moment by meeting are child exactly where and who they are.
Hope this helps you mama! If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment. I'll also be opening up a group program soon called The Connection Cure. If you are interested in joining a group of mamas who want to learn more about conscious parenting then drop me an email at email@example.com.
The Rebel Soul Mama
Taurus | Full, receptive, gorgeous, rooted, grounded, posh, placid, materialistic, languid, gentle, hoarding, obstinate, inflexible
The Moon is our inner psyche and emotional nature; it's our innermost world. It's vital to nourish and soothe this part of ourselves, so we can tap into our intuition and what we truly desire. The Moon is the Yin to Sun's Yang. We must listen to Mama Moon and how we should feed our souls, if not we run the risk of developing negative self-soothing habits like numbing (insert your fav flavor)!
These bodacious babes are even-keeled + reliable; they have an undeniable desire for comfort and reliability. Nurturing comes easy to these Moons; they have an innate ability to understand their basic needs. These sensual bulls know how to dig their toes into the soil—feeling the delightful presence of their body touching the earth anchoring them to the present of now. As faithful companions and sensualists, Taurus Moon can slow down; making them able to feel their emotions in their body.
Taurus Moon babies are the epitome of calm, cool and collected. On the other end, they may become emotionally rigid and resistant to change; they love their routine! As with material items, they can also be attached to people, holding on a little too tightly long after they have outgrown the relationship.
During emotional upheaval these bullheaded folks tend to dig in their heals and shut down, refusing to handle the situation or communicate. Their best bet is to find a creative or sensual outlet- gardening, visiting the spa, eating a fancy five-course meal or hosting their fav friends.
To feel in balance emotionally, these babes need to engage in their artistic talents and connect with earthly pleasures. They are tolerant and do best in situations they can anticipate the outcome. Pleasure is their forte, and it's no surprise that they prefer an aesthetically pleasing home. Nature, food, flowers, art, and committed relationships feed their souls.
Prone to stubbornness, they make reliable friends and partners, they LOVE to help others to savor the five senses and the beauty of the awe-inspiring world around them.
Ready to dive deeper into your chart? In my course Let Your Light Shine we explore more about your Moon Sign and illuminate your inner child. Combining Self-discovery, Self-Love + Astrology get ready to take an enlightened ride through the cosmos and find radical self-acceptance. You are worth it babe, shine your light! Journey begins 9.28.2020.
The Rebel Soul Mama
On September 2, 2020 we have full harvest moon in Pisces. Get ready to feel ALL the feels!
The Full Moon is considered the climax of the monthly cycle. The energies build and build and build to the Full Moon and then... wham! Typically we all experience a bit of insanity along with a sign by mama moon. During this part of the cycle Mother Moon is asking us (pushing us) to handle our business. This is why sometimes people and happening seem a bit loony!
It's time to peak and release the old. Time to say bye bye to low energy vibes and events. Break those old patterns, cut loose toxic relationships and things that no longer serve your higher being. You can't move forward with your dreams if you still have baggage and the Moon wants you to soar to new heights. Embrace this powerful time to do your inner work - look within, heal, drop your persona, shift any blocks and shed that past baby. Mama moon is shining her light on your darkness on all your blindspots to help you evolve and grow.
You may experience a bit of a push and pull internally. Just how the moon brings in and out the tides of the ocean we similarly feel this roll of emotions sweeping through us. Accept this ride and notice where you are out of alignment and balance within, allowing you to come back to center and restore your harmony.
During the full Moon we are asked to release and let go! Pisces energy wants us to swim with our emotions, to forgive and connect to the cosmic onesness. Take some time to just be!
Forgiveness is crucial to actualizing your desires
Whatever we are holding onto whether it's grudges, fears, upsets, disappointments, drama, wrongdoings are going to hold us back in the past and keep us stuck without realizing our desires. We must purge our mind, body and soul of these negative emotions. Forgive yourself and others, then practice gratitude for all the wonderful things you do have in your life. Think about it, if you are still hung up on something from the past how can you move forward to your future.
Unsure how to forgive?
We are all human and all make mistakes. Many of us spend years waiting for an apology or for the wrong to be right but we never get it. The whole while we are replaying and licking old wounds never allowing ourselves to fully heal and move forward. Forgiving someone doesn't make what they did right, but it does help you cut ties with that negative emotion from the past. The biggest thing is for you to internally deal with it and move on. When we don't we end up attracting similar situations in our life that led us there in the first place. Forgive, accept and review your lessons. Move on baby because you don't have time to stay stuck in the past. Your life is happening RIGHT NOW!
Time to forgive!
Sit quietly for 10-minutes and mentally forgive yourself or anyone you've been harboring resentment towards. Then send yourself + the other person LOVE!
Under the luminous Full Moon, I forgive everything and everyone, every happening, every moment of the past or present that needs forgiveness. I forgive myself for past mistakes. God/The Universe is love and I am forgiven. Love and light are now arranging in my life, I uphold peace. I send love to all and under the Full Moon I am healed.
Exude Gratitude + Appreciation
After you have released any resentment you get to replace it with gratitude and appreciation. By doing so you will raise your vibrational frequency.
Time to Plan your life with the Full Moon in Pisces
Full Moon in Pisces is especially favorable for Earth + Water signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer, Scorpio & Pisces).
The energy during this full moon can give us all a bit of yearning and having a flare of romanticism and nostalgia for the past. You are being called to ride the super mystical power of the Pisces Moon and tap into your inner psychic abilities. During this time you might find it hard to concentrate on your responsibilities and mundane tasks, as all you want to do is find inner peace and balance.
Some things to contemplate during this Full Moon
Jenna took the leap and left Corporate America to start her own Media Company! Learn what it took for this woman to trust herself and follow her vision.
Jenna is a Salinas, CA native who I met working along side on the Marketing team at Excellingence Learning Corporation (ELC) an early child development supply company. Jenna has since left corporate to follow her Rebel Soul urge to start her own media company, Mavelle Media. She now helps clients with their Marketing Communication initiatives. A few weeks ago I sat down with Jenna to talk about her soul journey and taking the plunge. You can view her interview below or read through the interview questions.
Jenna had so many gems of truth but one that really spoke to my heart was having faith and believing in yourself is key to take your leap of faith and following your heart!
What is your purpose and mission?
I don't really have a mission statement for my business but my WHY for walking away from the corporate world to work for myself was wanting to create my own opportunity where I would be able to be involved in my children's (future children at the time) day-to-day life while having a career and making my own money and having my own purpose. I also wanted to be more involved within my community and Mavelle Media has given me the opportunity to work with several local businesses and associations.
Tell us a little bit about how you discovered your purpose and mission?
My journey to working for myself began years before I actually took the leap into entrepreneurship.
In 2009 I was doing marketing and public relations for a local hotel and I was one of the "lucky" ones to be laid off during the economic recession. Shortly after that I met a female entrepreneur, mother and creative at a party and got to chatting and she was actually looking for someone to add to her team. We met on a Saturday, I came in and interviewed at her home office on Monday and my first day was Wednesday.
I accepted the independent contract position as a wedding and event floral designer and marketer with the intent that it would be a job until I found my way back into corporate marketing. I ended up staying four years. During those four years I learned so much about being an entrepreneur and the perks and downside to running a small business. I was given creative freedom and even encouraged to be creative. But most importantly I was inspired. My former boss and eventually friend, the female entrepreneur, mother and creative I mentioned above, showed me what it was like to "have it all" as some would say.
She ran her own business, had creative freedom AND was home for her kid. We worked out of her home office and typically started the day after school drop off and ended before dinner. I admired the balance and I knew I wanted the same for myself and my future family. At the time I was in my early-to-mid-20's so I didn't necessarily have babies on the brain but I am a planner.
Fast forward four years and I found myself back in the corporate world. It didn't take long for me to miss the creativity that had fueled my soul for the past four years so I decided to start my blog and Instagram, Mavelle Style. My initial intent with the blog was to share my everyday fashion style with the occasional recipe thrown in to inspire others and really to just have fun with it. I had no idea that Mavelle Style, my very part-time passion would eventually turn into Mavelle Media, my full-time gig but over the course of time the brand that I was creating for myself just kept evolving and eventually played a big role in inspiring me to go from blogger on the side to full time social media manager for locally owned small businesses and then eventually to becoming an all encompassing marketing and public relations consultant.
Corporate has a lot of perks and although I found my passion and figured out my dream of one day working for myself while working in the small business side of things it was in the corporate world where I learned an immeasurable amount of knowledge in the marketing and public relations industry. Every position that I have had and company that I have worked for has helped build me to be the woman I am today. I truly don't think I would be where I am in business if it weren't for every step I took to get here. Including being laid off and having a few very difficult superiors. I would not trade even the most difficult of bosses because I learned so much from them and can respect their experience and knowledge. I have been so lucky to have majority female superiors to look up to and I have learned so much from each and every one of them. They are all badass women in their own right and have each inspired me in different ways.
How did you feel in your body and in your life before you found your purpose? Who were you hanging out with, what things where you doing?
Right before I took the leap of working for myself I was super stressed out. It was a very intense and stressful time in my life both personally and career wise. I honestly had been pushed to my max and felt like I was going to break numerous times. I still don't know how I didn't break. It was at this time that I realized how strong I actually am and I think that helped to give me confidence to start my own business. I was kind of just done with how things were and in a sense this was my way of taking control.
But even before this moment... I was young when I figured out what I wanted. In fact, I am probably one of the few people who is actually building a career in what I went to college for. I have always known I wanted to do marketing and public relations and a part of me has always wanted to work for myself. Because of this, before I graduated college, I only worked jobs that would look good on my résumé for when I hit the job search. I did a lot of events, marketing and PR internships and summer gigs. I was always so focused on building my resumé and contact list. I even made sure the roles I took on in my sorority fit the narrative of my résumé, VP Communications and Social Chair.
I honestly think I had the career side of my life figured out long before I knew what I wanted personally.
I have always surrounded myself with people who were on the same page as me or brought positivity into my life in some way. To be honest I don't think I have ever had time for the bullshit. The people in my inner-circle today have been in my inner-circle for 10+ years, some even 30+. We have had A LOT of fun together and they have stories on me that probably don't necessarily fit the narrative of who I am today but that is why they are in my inner circle. They are my people. The ones that can motivate and guide me to be the woman I strive to be but also the ones who can laugh with me, not at me when I make mistakes. I feel like my friendships have evolved with me.
How was your confidence and self-love when you decided to go for your dreams? And what steps did you take to evolve your self?
I am not a risk taker, I don't care for change, I rarely put myself first and I am not a gambler so walking away from a consistent paycheck with zero clients lined up was extremely difficult and frightening for me but also a decision I felt so confident about. I believed in myself and I think that self confidence was key.
To this day, 4+ years into working for myself, there are really hard days and days of uncertainty. A pandemic hasn't helped. But, I still believe in myself and feel confident in my work and my hustle which is key.
What main events happened to lead you on your spiritual journey?
Oh man, well, somewhere between my first and third EKG I realized how stressed out I was. I can laugh about this now.
I am pretty good about walking away from toxic situations and once my workplace at the time was creating me more stress (hints the EKG's) than opportunity I knew it was time to move on. I spent months weighing the pros and cons of staying put, finding a new corporate position or going out on my own. I spoke endlessly with friends, family and colleagues about the idea of starting my own business and finally with encouragement from everyone around me I decided it was time to just do it.
I was in my early 30's and knew if I waited any longer to start my business I would be trying to start a business AND a family at the same time which didn't seem realistic to me. I didn't want either one to be put on hold for the other. I knew I wanted both a family and a career so for me the timing to start my business was now (or then rather) or wait 10+ years when my kids were grown and I wasn't willing to wait.
What's been some of your most soul crushing moments and how did you turn these into gems of wisdom?
On the business side of things I am crushed every time I don't get a contract that I was super excited about or I part ways with a client. Okay, maybe not every time I part ways with a client. I am really passionate about what I do and pour a lot of myself into my work so when the work is done or I never even get a chance to do it a little piece of me is slightly heartbroken (not to sound too dramatic). Over the years though I have learned that I cannot take business personal which is sometimes still difficult but I have developed quite the thick skin and have learned to look at "no" as motivation versus defeat.
On a personal and a business level I have definitely been let down, deceived and hurt by others and with each one I learned a different lesson. I definitely trust my gut more than I did 10- 15 years ago and I am not as afraid to say no if something doesn't align with life and business I am trying to build for myself. I think we as humans, especially women, have pretty good instincts we just tend to ignore them out of fear of failure or disapproval but as I mentioned above there is no time for bullshit and sometimes you just have to walk away from toxic situations.
If you could give the younger version of you any advice what would it be and why?
Hmmm... this is a tough one. I made a lot of mistakes and thoughtless decisions but I wouldn't change anything because I don't want to change who I am today. Maybe, I would tell myself about Facebook so that I could create it before Mark Zuckerberg. Also, to invest some time in learning how to create aps and code websites. I have always wished I was a little more tech savvy so I guess I would try to convince the younger me to get on that.
What are you eager to work on next?
I am always excited about the next client or challenge and I am always open to taking on new business and projects but ever since the pandemic I have slowed down a bit and I am really focused on maintaining the business and clientele that I have while taking care of my 10 month old baby girl. I am actually really looking forward to working on my daughter's baby book and planning her a socially distance pandemic friendly 1st birthday.
What are some of your BIG aspirational dreams?
I would love to travel more and keep growing Mavelle Media. It would be awesome to have employees and an office outside of the home one day but this may be a while because I am also loving being so hands on with my daughter.
What are some steps you are taking today to become that next evolved version of you?
I am not sure we can control the way we evolve because I think it is our life experiences that evolve us into who we are.
With that said though I want to keep growing as a wife, mother and a consultant. Everyday I am working on slowing down and living more in the moment with my family without sacrificing my business. Sounds easier than it is. My daughter is only 10 months old and juggling being a mother and being self employed is a big struggle majority of the time but I just keep reminding myself that she is so young and she will only be little for a brief moment in time and there is plenty of time to grow Mavelle. I find time everyday to be grateful for where I am in my life and in business today.
Many of us wear a mask in the world. It's the version of our self that we let the world see & it's super obvious to everyone around us. We've been crafting this persona since birth! It's how we adapt & respond to our environment, in order to navigate the highs & lows of life. Protective walls have been built around our most tender selfs + our secret desires, so that we don't get hurt by revealing them.
In Astrology, the persona is known as your Rising or Ascendent Sign. Referred to as our style of expression & the way in which we are perceived.
When I learned more about my Rising Sign my jaw hit the floor, I'm a Virgo Rising. The description was spot on with how I had been showing up & how others view me. To sum up my persona I'm sensitive, organized, productive and helpful. I realized my coping mechanism protect myself was staying busy and trying to solve issues for others, rather than focusing on what I truly desired.
Your Rising Sign is known as your costume or mask, because it's what you instinctively do + your protection from showing the REAL YOU. Along your journey of life you get to integrate other parts of yourself so you're not on autopilot + you can learn to love yourself fully.
Take some time to think about where you are out of alignment with who you REALLY are & who you SHOW UP as in the world? Have you been holding back for fear of TRULY being seen?
Embodying our wholeness requires us to get vulnerable & expose ourselves BUT this is what leads to your personal EMPOWERMENT! The only way out is through.
Perhaps it's the way you talk, or the clothes you wear, or what you do for fun, are you honoring YOUR TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF?
Take a moment this week to check in with your modes of self-expression.
I SAY, it's time to say PEACE OUT to YOUR PERSONA babe & start embracing the parts of yourself that have been hiding! It's time to SHINE. If you are on a spiritual journey + interested in learning more about your astrology chart + looking for community of womxn then you came to the right place!
Join my online course Let Your Light Shine where you'll go on a Self-Discovery through the cosmos. The journey begins 9/28/20!
Here's a few journal prompts to get you started:
1) Write down 10 words to describe you + 10 words of how you think others would describe you. How can you align your list?
2) What's 5 things you could do completely different today and show up like your TRUE SELF?
3) What's one area of your life you've been hiding from the world? Start small can you talk to your partner, friends or family about it and start being more comfortable with this side of yourself?
Reach out if you have any questions babe!
The Rebel Soul Mama
Shannon McAlister | Intuitive Leader, Astrologer, wifey and mama who is practicing mindful living + appreciating the everyday magic!